Author Archives: Mason Conrad Stanley

Feb 15 2013
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ABC's of Leadership

Leadership is: Opportunity

If only recognizing opportunities were that easy!

“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.” – Mark Twain

As I was graduating college Marla and I were faced with choosing between two great opportunities. We had been through two interviews, for two different churches, and had been offered both jobs. Choosing the opportunity that was right for the both of us was one of the most difficult decisions we have ever had to make. Through much praying, weighing of the options, and getting Marla’s take on the the opportunities (Dave Ramsey talks about the benefit of seeking your spouse’s input in his book EntreLeadership), we made a decision.

We are no longer serving at that church, but we do believe we made the right choice. We learned so much in the two years we were there, and it help set us on the path we’re on today!

When it comes to opportunity we must be able to do 3 things:

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Feb 14 2013
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ABC's of Leadership

Leadership is: Not-giving-up

Hang on, tie your knot, then use it as a platform to climb up!

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

One of the most impacting quotes I’ve heard is, “the most valuable ground is the grave yard because of all the dreams, desires, and goals that are buried there.” That got me thinking: how many ideas, ambitions, and goals will die with me because I couldn’t push through and finish? 

As leaders we must be able to persevere through those difficult or seemingly impossible circumstances (especially if they are essential to our success).

HERE ARE THREE WAYS TO NOT GIVE UP:

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Feb 13 2013
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ABC's of Leadership

Leadership is: Multiplying

Do you divide, add, or multiply as a leader?

“And what I’m interested in is investing in people.” – Arthur Rock

When my wife and I were getting married we met with some counselors to do pre-marital counseling for roughly six months before we wed. One of the most impacting admonishments I received was that “a husband should divide his wife’s sorrows and multiply her joys.” Ever since then I’ve kept this motto in the back of my mind, striving to divide sorrows and multiply joys as I lead my family.

Leadership outside of the home isn’t much different. This is not to say that our team’s happiness is our job, rather we should  help them find joy in their accomplishments and growth, and to learn from their failure.

When it comes to this concept there are three types of Leaders:

  • The Dividing Leader: This type of leader believes that a paycheck or “thank you” is enough thanks. The problem with this perspective is that there is no personal investment in the members themselves. The leader will continue to ask and the team members will continue to give, until another leader will ask less from them or give more to them.

With out any real investment, a leader’s mistakes or misgivings will multiply against them, in essence, they will divide the team.

  • The Adding Leader: This type of leader believes that a paycheck is not enough! In fact they believe if a team member adds value to the organization, they will add value to the team member by giving them public praise or rewards. This shows team members they are valued by the team and organization.

It is important to recognize that extrinsic motivators and thank-yous will add value to your team members, but they will not be enough to over come consistent dividing from the leader. 

  • The Multiplying Leader: This type of leader knows that a paycheck is equal compensation for the team member’s time and effort, and if they’d like more out of their team they must invest in its members beyond extrinsic motivators. These leaders create intrinsic value by investing in member’s abilities and strengths, helping them multiply their successes and learn from their failures.

Leaders, who invest in their members, will multiply their value and will have invested enough to survive a dividing moment.

Investing is work, here is a SHORT blog post by Scott Hodge on how to prioritize investment.

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Feb 12 2013
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ABC's of Leadership

Leadership is: Listening

Hearing words is not the same as understanding them.

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” – Ralph Nichols (interesting interview w/ Ralph Nichols)

Beneficial communication consist of two parts: sharing & receiving. It seems for most, that sharing, or talking, is far easier for the average person than receiving, or listening, is.  Also, since we’ve already discussed some healthy sharing habits in an earlier post, lets look at some healthy listening habits.

1. Forming a response, while another person is sharing, is not listening. Conversations move quickly, and they move even faster when more people are involved. It is possible that if we don’t form our response quickly we will miss our opportunity to share our insight. The problem with this perception is that our listening is still about us. Listening must be about the other person. If the conversation passes us by, and we believe our thought/response is beneficial, we can revisit it in the conversation, or say it later to the person one on one.

This leads us to our next habit:

2. Processing, or contextualizing, what another person is saying is crucial for communication. When we combine prior and current information we’ve received from the person with whom we are communicating, it allows us to understand better what it is they are saying. Also, we must listen to HOW they are saying it. It has been said that two-thirds of all communication is non-verbal. If this is true, we must listen to their tone and watch their body language. Paul Ekman discusses this practice in his book: Emotions Revealed: Recognizing Faces and Feelings to Improve Communication and Emotional Life

Finally:

3. Forming our response should not be based on who we are, but rather who the speaker is. We share with the hope that people will respond to what we’ve shared, others are no different. We must format our responses based on who they are so that one, they know they’ve been heard and two, so we can give a proper response. While this doesn’t seem to be an outright listening habit, the reality is we must listen to find out what type of person they are. This way our response can be a proper one.

This 2007 Bloomberg Business Week article has some more great leadership listening suggestions!

What listening habits help you listen better? 

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Feb 11 2013
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ABC's of Leadership

Leadership is: Kindness

Never look down on a person unless you're helping them up!

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up – Jesse Jackson

Being a kind leader is essential to building rapport with team members. Often, kindness is looked at not as a necessity, but rather a characteristic that is helpful if possessed, but one that can be worked around if absent. While the later is true, it is much more beneficial for a leader to work through being kind rather than around it.

Kindness is one of those words that have different connotations to different people, but simply put kindness is doing “good.” I understand we just went from mist to fog with the word good, but you understand the principle. Good is when actions inspire and benefit teams as opposed to demotivating and depressing them.

Over all leaders must desire to do good to their teams! For some leaders it is easy to want to be a blessing towards their teammates, for others it is more difficult. Here are a few ways to increase your desire to be kind:

  1. Focus on the positive. This is not to say that we over look areas of weakness or areas that need improving; however, when a leader focuses on a member’s area of excellence or contribution, their demeanor and view towards them changes. Remember a person will live up or down to your perception of them.
  2. Make the choice to patiently invest in them. This is a hard one for a leader. Ideally we want people who don’t need babysitting or investment. We’d like them to be self-sufficient and capable of going months with out our input or guidance. The truth of the matter is that this doesn’t exists, and if they’re not getting this from you, chances are they’re getting it from something or someone else. When a leader chooses to invest in a person for the sake of the person they will have more buy in to their success.They will search for areas of improvement, and for reasons to celebrate growth.
  3. Desire better for the organization. Actions are mirrored from leadership. If you want your organization to do better, if you want your team members to be better, treat them better. This is not rewarding mediocrity, but rather encouraging loyalty. Zappos.com founder and CEO Tony Hsieh knows this all too well. In his book Delivering Happiness he shares that his company thrives because their customer service is so great, and their customer service is so great because they chose to value their team members.

Kindness is not some characteristic that you can do with out, it is a necessity for success. However, it is not enough to desire to do good. You must do good! Good intentions alone only build frustration.

How are you going to show kindness to your team this week?

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